Doc hangs up his phone with a huge smile on his face, and announces that our youngest, (his son, my stepson) is coming home for the weekend. And I already know a little about what the weekend will look like.
I pull out the brownie mix, because that is what I have for him each time he comes. It is almost expected and is part of the tradition of coming home.
I know that one afternoon there will be time a movie or skeet shooting with his dad. There will be an evening at his mom’s house with a cookout or an adventure to a restaurant not yet experienced. Then, on his last day here, his mom, dad, stepdad and I will probably have brunch at Egg and I Grill.
Being a step mom is even more difficult than being a birth mom. You do the same work for both birth and step, but there are not as many hugs, or “I love you”; and, at times there are none at all. You work hard, but frequently there is little credit or recognition.
The stepmom is on the sidelines with some conversations between birth parent and child. Conversations that are taken into another room, for privacy; and, my family, the people I serve, and that I love, need privacy – away from me.
Sometimes I would like to quit – just quit making beds, quit doing the laundry, or cooking the food. I think I could quit picking up from school and let them walk home. I use to walk home from School– They. Won’t. Die!
But, I really would be a miserable person if I took that kind of self-centered approach. I do what I do because I love to give to others. I want this group of people, broken as we all are, to be as close to a family of origin as possible. The problem is, I want glory! Ok. There it is, the ugly – I want credit, to be acknowledged, and some glory! I want credit; I want extra credit for the extra work! I think I’m worth my salt!
“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you loose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.” (Matthew 5:13 MSG)
And, there is my reason. I am to serve whether I get credit for what I do or not, because I am to be Christ to this family. I am to serve these people, my family; not as a doormat, but as a worker that is bringing the flavor of God into the mix.
My emotional health is important. But, I need to believe who God says I am, and not base my worth, and my identity, on getting credit and glory from my family. God knows I need encouragement and I will trust Him to provide.
As we snuggle in for the night, Doc turns to me with tender kisses, and says, “I’m a lucky man”. And though it might not be said everyday, I know that he sees me, because God has heard my prayers, giving Doc eyes to see. And that is all the glory I really need.
Linking today with Laura, and Finding Heaven
Latest posts by Diane W. Bailey (see all)
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Such good reminders here. Your family — the birth and step — are blessed to have you.
Thank you Kristin, They make my life richer.