One of the more painful aspects of being a stepmother, is knowing that no matter how well you do your job, you are never really the mother. They have a mother that they love, and though they care for me and love me, I am more like an aunt in our relationship.
At the beach last week, I watch this father and son, talking about life. I want to join in, but my place is in the background – praying for them and taking pictures.
Watching this young man progress from entering school, to entering college, to entering life, I have always had a back seat praying for him and being willing to help whenever I am asked. That is what stepmothers do, we pray. Prayer is the greatest gift we can give to our family, along with laughter and going with the flow.
These two peas-in-a-pod, they talk and walk together, this dad and son – and I notice that there is a confidence in the son that was not there last year. He is standing with his dad, not in the shadow of his dad. They are eye-to-eye. And, though I am not the birth mother, my heart swells with pride at the boy, who is now a man.
It is not easy to be the “extra” mom, but that is life in a stepfamily. I did not birth him, and he will never look at me as he does his own mother, but my heart still whispers, “my family, my (step) son”.
I am just coming back from our family vacation so this blog is short. Next week I want to talk about helping your child as well as your stepchild launch into the real world.
Please tell me your stories about stepfamily! I may just use some on Stepping up Tuesday!
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Diane,
Sometimes the message is more clear & findable in “short.” Don’t apologize for your blog being short because of vacation or anything else.
Thank you.
Thank you for those kind and encouraging words, Penny. I needed that!
Beautiful Diane! Honestly, I know you are talking about step families, but I feel that you are talking about my family. I see my husband and daughter walking together, and since we are a three-some family, I often feel left out of their tight relationship. But I allow her time with her dad, and step back and just pray. Great words.
Barb, nothing can take the place of Mom, nothing. And though it is so healthy for her to have a great relationship with her mom, Only your mom can be a best friend that knows all of your history. When she is older and the children come along is when you will have the opportunity to be the one she clings to! Love you, Girl!
I am SO glad to see you blogging regularly on this topic. Nobody knows it better than you do, and you do a great job of modeling grace. Especially under pressure 🙂
Love you!
You have taken the thoughts straight out of my mind with this wonderful story. It is tough to be the stepmother. After almost 14 years, I am still trying to find my place. I pray for my children (step) and grandchildren. I am very blessed to have them in my life. My wonderful husband always makes me feel a part of the family even when the kids sometimes don’t. He always reminds me that the grandchildren will always be mine even if the kids are not.
Yes, Jennifer The grands will never understand anything more that you are here and you love them. Even when they are old, you will still be grandmother. You are Loved, Jennifer, you are loved!