One of the more painful aspects of being a stepmother, is knowing that no matter how well you do your job, you are never really the mother.  They have a mother that they love, and though they care for me and love me, I am more like an aunt in our relationship.


At the beach last week,  I watch this father and son, talking about life.  I want to join in, but my place is in the background – praying for them and taking pictures.


Watching this young man progress from entering school, to entering college, to entering life, I have always had a back seat praying for him and being willing to help whenever I am asked.  That is what stepmothers do, we pray. Prayer is the greatest gift we can give to our family, along with laughter and going with the flow.


These two peas-in-a-pod, they talk and walk together, this dad and son – and I notice that there is a confidence in the son that was not there last year. He is standing with his dad, not in the shadow of his dad.  They are eye-to-eye.  And, though I am not the birth mother, my heart swells with pride at the boy, who is now a man.


It is not easy to be the “extra” mom, but that is life in a stepfamily.  I did not birth him, and he will never look at me as he does his own mother, but my heart still whispers, “my family, my (step) son”.


I am just coming back from our family vacation so this blog is short.  Next week I want to talk about helping your child as well as your stepchild launch into the real world.

Please tell me your stories about stepfamily!  I may just use some on Stepping up Tuesday!

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Diane W. Bailey is the founder of The Consilium – an online community of wisdom and purpose for women over 45 years of age. She is a published author. Her books include String of Pearls – From Tears to Treasure, and 30 Days To A Better Stepfamily. She creates her own line of precious metals bracelets. Diane lives in the Deep South with her husband Doc. Together they have created a stepfamily, each having two stepchildren and two birth children, and share three grandchildren, one black lab named Charlie and one long haired tabby cat named Lil Girl. Diane’s passion is to encourage women to be all God has created them to be by pressing past fear and daring to live life as an adventure. Some of her life adventures include traveling to Israel, speaking, entrepreneurship and backyard farming with Doc. She loves Gumbo, fried shrimp and seeing all sunsets across water.

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