Out of the blue last Tuesday, I was struck down by a wave a grief, sobbing and wrestling with loss after loss. In a matter of days we had attended two visitations at the same funeral home. One was for an elderly man who lived a long life. And one was for a beautiful young girl, a neighbor and long time friend of our grandchildren. She was a freshman at our high school, played the flute in the band, danced on drill team, was a big sister and a little sister. She was full of life. She once sat our table for a tea party when she was 8 years old–a princess tea party. We told her how much she was loved by The King and how God had good plans for her life. She was so beautiful, dressed in her crimson red and sparkling gold princess gown. Her future was so promising.
But her days were numbered. Fourteen years. We never would have imagined that her family would experience the all-too-familiar grief that the thief leaves when he suddenly comes stealing the joy we had found in family. The common, the routine, the normal course of our days does not look for death in youth–our youth–our children’s youth.
Yet it comes.
Like a thief.
In an instant.
So young.
Two babies In the womb of a friend—not thriving.
A friend’s little niece, age 3—dies of a deadly infection.
Another friend’s son age 4—drowned.
A sweet little princess friend age 14—suicide.
A young man age 15—a fall.
Another friend’s son, in adult prison age 17—suicide.
Friend’s beautiful daughter age 21—car accident.
Our son age 24—suicide.
Children’s mother age 34—at the hands of another.
Son’s friend age 36—overdose.
Like a thief.
How does one get up and walk again when they have been robbed of the very ones they hold dearest? How do we get past the grip of grief and ever go on with our shattered lives?
It isn’t without sorrow or by a quick and easy process, but we do go on because we do not sorrow as those who have no hope. We, as Christians, have the hope of the high place where death does not get the final word. We may grieve for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
In I Thessalonians 4:13-18, Paul reminds us of the hope of heaven that is the hope of those who believe in Jesus. Our hope is in the high place, eternity. The hope we have for our loved ones who are asleep with Jesus is that they will rise, and we will one day be together again, forever and ever. Death did not get the final word.
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.”
From this recent wave of grief, I penned these words as I counted the many losses that have grieved me and my loved ones. Not just death of the body, but our dreams, relationships, health and security–the common losses that threaten our hope and break our hearts.
The High Place
I long to live in the high place
where men are not filled with anger,
where sacrifice trumps pleasure
and children are no longer pawns.
Where forgiveness lingers
and wholeness delivers.
Where rights are forgotten
and righteousness rules.
Where babies are blessings
and marriages last.
Where death awakens
and sorrow is shaken.
Where one means all
and all means you too.
Where whose you are
matters more than what you do.
Where relationships heal
because the pain is real.
Where evil is conquered
by God’s free will.
I long for the high place
where families don’t quit.
Where wounds don’t scab over
and callously harden.
Where every sin
receives a pardon.
Where prisoners are free
and lives are redeemed.
Where satisfaction
is more than a dream.
Where differences are embraced
and demands are replaced
with hands that extend
to the painful place.
Where mercy rules justice
and justice restores.
I long for the place
where love reigns evermore.
I long for the high place.
I pray that you will hold onto the hope that Paul tells us about. The hope we have in Jesus where the dead rise again. If you find yourself without hope because you do not know this Jesus who has already conquered death, I pray you will ask him to reveal himself to you so that you too can live in the hope of the high place where there is no more death, no more suffering, no more tears.
If you know this Jesus, yet your hope is waning, or your faith is standing with feeble knees, I am praying for you right now to cry out to the One who can restore to you the joy of His salvation, to lift you up and set your feet firmly on the high place.
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Thank you for putting on display the God of grace who gives you the power to spin grief into words of poetry and praise!
Michele thank you for seeing the way my God always turns my pleas to praise. He is faithful!
All of this loss, death really is unnatural, we sense in the depth of our spirit that this was not the way our Creator meant things to be when He made us. Thank God for the victory over death through Christ’s death and resurrection. Yet, we don’t see that in its fullness when we stand by the graveside, so we depend on the comfort of His Spirit and the truth of the Bible, and we long for the day when death is no more.
Amen Elizabeth! His hope is our hope. It is a place of tension between life and death where we to long for the things that we were created for. The things that do not hurt us anymore. He is our hope. This Jesus re onciled this tension. Praise the Lord for his comfort and hope.
Oh Kelly! this is beautiful…not just beautifully written, which it certainly is, but beautifully filled to overflowing with truth and reality and God. It takes us from the low, low grave, soaring to the high place of heaven. I’m so sorry for your losses . . . first and foremost, your beloved son Vince….and now these recent losses and of one so young–just fourteen. We too have lost four precious friends in the span of less than two months–and one, just fifteen, just a boy. Sometimes you don’t know how you can get up from the basement of grief. But the Lord, the Lord of the high places, lifts our heads. He reminds us that as believers we are already dwelling in the high heavenlies, and that heaven itself is a high reality that we will truly experience one day….that the low place of death is really a shadow we traverse if we know Christ, a shadow which temporarily obscures the high place of heaven. But shadows never last. His Son always shines through. I needed to read this today, as I suspect many do. Thank you for sharing the light, hope, and high place of Christ. I love you dear friend.
Love
Lynni
Lynn. Love how you call it the basement of grief and the shadows of death that do not last. It is true. Even though we walk through the shadows of death we are comforted by our God and the promise of heaven. Our friend’s son is amongst those I was lamenting that day. The grief could overtake us if it were not for this promise and the tender care of our Comforter. Love you.
Kelly… this was beautiful. And the best part, it is also true!
Pastor Pete! Thank you for visiting it today. You are a man who has suffered greatly yet who would know of your suffering as you cling to the hope of heaven and rejoice in the One who is Faithful. Your life brings hope to mine. Thank you Pastor Pete. We miss you so much in St. Louis. You are the best.
I am thankful that God is faithful and death does not win.
Yes and Amen!
Oh. Jesus, has been my steady prayer for the last 3 months. Now I pray it again. Over and over. So much loss……thank you so for this Kelly. Love you. Lori
Love you too Lori. Praying with you! Your recent post about your aging parents and the impending grief was so tenderly written and caused me to think on the day when I too will have to say goodbye to my parents. I do not want that day to come. I just want to hug you when I read your story and weep with you too. This Jesus! How we need him! Oh Jesus!
I have been thinking about this same theme SO much lately. Thank you for putting beautiful, grace filled words around my unfocused thoughts today, Kelly! Just perfect.
Oh Dawn, you know it just was the outpouring of God’s comfort and truth from the place of my sorrow and longing. He not only has the antidote for death. He is the antidote. Praise Him!
Thank you for sharing I am a person who deals with funeral arrangements, purchases of grave sites, niches, and as a Family Service Counselor and Pastor, this subject is near and dear to my heart. My list is long of the deceased of my own family and of strangers whom have come to At Need and Pre Need . ( Funerals are for the living and closeoure is a must ).
Johnnie what a blessing you must be to so many families. It is such a shocking and numbing experience to sit and plan the funeral of a loved one, especially taken so sudden and so tragically at a young age. The grief overwhelms us in the beginning. We have been comforted by the tenderness and love that was shown to us at these times by those who serve as you do. I will never forget them and the impression marked on our hearts by them. I agree closure is a must. Hard, but a must. Thank you for entering into the pain and suffering of many and loving them to Jesus.
Kelly, this made me cry all over again. Such a poignant piece–cutting right to the heart of so many people. Tears a way of healing, that is for sure.
Yes Jody – grief brings about such healing.
Kelly- these words sustain the grief weary heart…thank you for putting pen to paper and keeping your heart and ear tuned into the Father’s heart and hope. You are living the call of Isaiah 50:4! Love you!
He is sure faithful and so glad he instructs my heart.
“live in the hope of the high place”: by grace, and by choice, yes, Yes I do. And will. Thank you, Kelly.
Yes Laurie! I think as Christians we find ourselves living the hope of the high place more and more as the days draw nigh.
I felt like we were talking together over coffee. You brought death to the table. We could have wallowed in it and let it pierce our souls, burden our hearts and paralyze our future. But to this table you brought The Way, The Truth and the Life. We could fellowship and praise The Resurrection and the Life. And we did. I leave our time together, not in sorrow, but in hope. Thank you. I’ve treasured our time together.
Chris I always treasure our time together too. God always points us onward. Praise Him!