I am at the beach this week. Typing from a roof top over looking the Gulf of Mexico. Looking at all of these young college girls walking up and down in their bikinis. I use to look like that, flat stomach and thin thighs, and I know it was not that long ago!
This year for the first time I am feeling like I am over thirty. My great-aunt when in her eighties, said she didn’t feel much older than she did in her forties, just moving a little slower.
I know what she was saying about moving slower, hips stiffening, knees and back aching and such. So I went to a yoga class here.
Stretching and bending, you would be proud of me; I did pretty well! Or so I thought until I saw one of the young ones, she lifts her legs, and her head, to fold herself in half. Then she “rests” her heals on the back of her neck.
Show off!
I felt like standing up and spinning her like a top. I would love to see the look on her face when this slightly grayed woman jumps up and gives her a whirl!
And the gray…what is that all about?? Just when I decide to let my hair go back to it’s natural brown color, then this white stiff comes in…like it is proud to be here. It jumps up front and begins to grow in Cruella DeVill style! Now I am going to have to begin bleaching my hair again to make it all blend together!
I’m in my fifties, and I plan on making it a lot longer than this! Getting old stinks!
Wrestling with these thoughts in the night, as I am not sleeping because of the tropical summer that plaques me year ‘round, I think of the Proverbs 31 woman.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the later days. Proverbs 31:25
Seriously? What is there to smile about? Did they not have hot flashes or midlife spread, aching hips and knees in those days?
I look up gray hair in the Bible.
They talk about gray hair being a crown of glory for a man. Proverbs 16:31
I guess they know better than to tell a woman that she has gray hair. She might give you a look that will make you run for cover.
Is anyone else having a problem coming to terms with her age?
I ask the Lord to instruct me about this phase of my life. What is there to smile about?
Slowly in the quite of the rooftop, images come to mind.
Raising children as a single mother, the good and bad of those days; and they bless me with their words, they give me joy, living he life of one who accepts Christ into their heart and life.
Marrying a man with two children – bringing experience of parenting, to partner with his wisdom.
Learning to speak life to daughters who are now young women.
Showing the sons who are now young men how Christian women are to live in submission and partnership with their husbands.
Living with authenticity with the family, which means allowing them to see my imperfections, seeing what angers me; how I can stick to my guns when I right, and apologize when I am wrong.
Invisible is the hand of God that has fashioned me for these days.
As a rose opens wide, and it’s youthful beauty begins to fade, greater and more desired is the fragrance of the rose; 
and so too, is life.
Perhaps, this is what the woman in proverbs is smiling about. She has lived her life well, working all that the Lord has placed in front of her, to the best of her ability.
I lean back in my chase lounge, soaking in some sun on my aging skin, hoping for the sun to lick my hair lighter… and I smile.
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Di,
I admire your honesty. If you feel 30ish, which is what I feel, that is a blessing! Your beauty does not fade. It grows more radiatly beautiful as you grow in Christ. And you do well with the fleeting valley of not wanting your life to change, it is a tempory dip. It is in the changing that we can boast of God’s goodness and love to us through his son Jesus who died forour sins. You are Queen, Diane, because Jesus is King of Kings. Did anyone ever tell you you look like a movie star? You do, there is a Disney movie called, “Herbie goes to Monte Carlo”. You look like the female race car driver. You are beautiful and your writing reflects that fact.
Dropping by from Ann’s. . .thank you for such a lovely post. . .you made me smile
Yes, I think about it. See myself changing and there isn’t anything I can do about it. But there is a grief over what was I think, as far as the outer appearance goes. However, I would much rather be where I am inside my skin today than twenty or thirty years ago! And thankful He judges the heart, that is where I want to focus.
The conventional wedding gown is undoubtedly expensive and uncomfortable at times as they are heavy to carry.
Sorry It has taken so long to post you comment, for some reason it went into the spam. But you now you are free =)