If we will only surrender ourselves utterly to the Lord, and will trust Him perfectly, we shall find our souls “mounting up with wings as eagles” to the “heavenly places” in Christ Jesus, where earthly annoyances or sorrows have no power to disturb us.If we will only surrender ourselves utterly to the Lord, and will trust Him perfectly, we shall find our souls “mounting up with wings as eagles” to the “heavenly places” in Christ Jesus, where earthly annoyances or sorrows have no power to disturb us. ~Hanna Whitail Smith
Eleven O’clock p.m. and the heat still had sweat running down my back. Lights on the platform indicated that the Metro was coming into the station. Grand-Anna wraps her hand in the bend of my arm. “ I don’t want us to get separated.”
I laugh gently, “With only a dozen people around? You are as safe as ever.”
The doors opened. Two men, then doc entered the train.
Holding Anna’s hand I step one foot onto the train when the doors begin to close.
I press on them to indicate that someone is still in the doorway, but the doors continue to close and I am pressed tightly in their vice-like grip.
My left arm and leg are outside of the train and Anna is on the platform still with her mouth hanging open unable to do anything.
A train heading in the opposite direction passes, gently rocking our train and I am struck with horror that that this train will take off ripping my arm and leg from my body. Anna would be abandoned on the platform and not knowing what to do or having any way of calling anyone.
A wave a hot nausea rises meeting the cold sweat of fear. Muscle to breastbone increases its rhythm as my hands press on the doors without receiving the desired freedom. My voice trapped in the doors along with my body.
Something on the face of one of the passengers causes Doc to turn around. Only a step away from his bride, and he thrushes his hands between the doors which are pressing me in two, giving me the freedom and ability to once again inhale.
Still leaning on one door which has just seconds ago held me prisoner, I grab Anna by the hand snatching her quickly on board.
All of this happened within seconds.
Still somewhat dazed, I find my seat.
How quickly life had changed. Had I not just seconds ago told Anna that she was safe and nothing would separate us?
I muse over this paradox through the night. “Lord, why…?”
Life crowds into my thoughts with up coming decisions, hard feelings between friends, what does my future hold…
Then, I hear Him. The still, small voice who calls me by name, “I want all of you – do not hold out anything from me.”
Sitting up in the bed, I stare into the dark room. Am I holding out on God? What am I holding out? I thought I had given it all to him.
The picture of my arm and leg hanging out of the Metro train flashes through my mind. And it is the perfect picture of holding out. Partially in Him and partially in the world, and the division has the potential of ripping me in two.
Part of me is safely in God’s care and part of me is holding out and is in very serious danger. Unsafe and unable to save those who are in my care are the things that are not in His care, things not in His safe keeping because I hold out.
Things like worry, broken relationships, and health of children the things that occupy my mind instead of allowing Christ to occupy my mind.
Thoughts that crowd out the answers in which He longs to guide His awkward, and trapped child; here are the areas hanging outside, instead of safely in Christ.
Dark is the room that hears my confession in the early morning. Pouring out to the one who hears, and sees, and still loves without fail.
Then slowly like the revelation itself, the morning light rises, filling the windows, and bringing forth the new day. A day where I wrap myself around the extended bend of His arm.
Linking with Jennifer at God-Bumps and God-Incidents, Unwrapping His Promises, And Wordfilled Wednesday
Latest posts by Diane W. Bailey (see all)
- What God Can Do with A Shattered Heart - September 5, 2022
- When It Is Time to Bring Your Ship Ashore - January 2, 2018
- Art Of Hospitality – How to Love Others As Ourselves - November 27, 2017
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Oh my heart is beating, fear of the ‘terrible situation’ you were in. wow. I can’t even imagine that kind of entrapment even for a second, in fact I am always fearful (not in a horrible way) but still cautious of automatic doors in the stores and also elevator doors. I am glad your story ended so nicely. whew… God was with you.
YAY, you’re BACK! What a scary thing – I bet poor Grand-Anna’s eyes were like saucers! I love the image of slipping our arms through the bend of the Father’s arm – beautiful, Di!
Oh, wow, this is one of the most powerful posts I’ve ever read. I am almost in tears here, seeing you trapped, unsafe, vulnerable. . . What an amazing metaphor for how we are risking everything to not give our everything to the Father. I love your question, “What am I holding back?” Your words penetrate my heart. I ask that question, too. So grateful to have read your words tonight.
Thank you Jennifer for the follow on facebook and for leaving a comment. What a gift! God always sees what could harm us long before we even know we are in danger. I’m so very thankful.
So glad you are alive to tell this tale- how horrific!
I really relate to: Things like worry, broken relationships, and health of children the things that occupy my mind instead of allowing Christ to occupy my mind.
It’s so hard to keep my mind in captivity to Christ!! Worries about grown children- elderly mother, things at work, things at church-
how I love you final sentence!! Then slowly like the revelation itself, the morning light rises, filling the windows, and bringing forth the new day. A day where I wrap myself around the extended bend of His arm.
Hey- I’m grabbing His other arm, okay ?? !!
My sweet Mary, I’m crazy about you! Oh that we would remember each day that the crook of His arm extends for us! No word yet on the last test for our Gianna. I’ll let you know as soon as I know. ~Di
A beautiful reminder that I need to be “all-in” – not withholding parts of my life from the great power of the King.
Kim, we all need that reminder…sometimes more often that we like to think that we do.
I know I won’t forget this word picture that you have painted so beautifully today. Half in, half out? The danger. The safety of being fully in Him. Just wonderful. So glad to come by from Duane’s place today. 🙂
So nice to meet you Danelle, thank you for coming by to visit. Hoping you are bending your arm around His today!
Oh my word. This is a gripping story, and a telling metaphor for the spiritual life. So glad you are ok!
Thank you Jennifer, and yes, we are all doing fine. Anna carried her Id and info the rest of the trip and Doc pointedly, put me on the train first, muttering with a smile about the “problem child”. +)
Thank you Denise. Hope you are doing well. ~Di
What a perfectly illustrated life lesson. I am here from Duane’s. 🙂
Hi Elizabeth, I’m so very glad to meet you. Thank you for coming by.
WOW!! Sure kept my attention. Hoped you’d finish this instead of just putting it in bits and pieces for the next stretch of time/life. Thanks much!!
Hi Joanne! It is good to hear from you! He sure had my attention, and I am putting into practice, listening more instead of worrying.
My Dear and Insightful Friend, We are obviously all so very moved and shaken in the digestion of this post. I have read it several times and relived it with you, even the awakening realization of what God had you dream. To answer and validate his need to have all of you, all of each of us….Powerful words not wasted and not allowed to fall on fallow ground. received and taken in to grow us, to change us. Thank you Lord, thank you Diane for being a vessel he can pour through. (must be part of your next book!)
what would I do without your friendship, Terri? You are so dear to me. And next book? I think He needs to make sure all arms and legs are inside before that train leaves the station!!! Love ya, Girl~
Diane, I am coming to you from Ann Voskamp’s blog. What a scary experience you had! The conclusions you draw from it are so inspiring! Jesus wants all of me…that is amazing and profound. I took a look at the sites you are linking up with, and they really resonated with me as well. I am so glad I found you today.
Hello Mandy! Thank you for taking time to comment. I love meeting new people and visiting with them. I hope to hear from you again. And thank you for visiting the people I link up with each week. They are some amazing men and women and I’m honored to step foot into their verbal gardens.