“I don’t know where I fit-in.” That is what she said to me, and I was in full agreement.


My friend and I were at a writer’s conference. We were the older women watching, with amazement, the younger women putting on the conference.


These younger women had children running beside them as they put the final touches into a conference they loved. We loved the conference too, as well as the women who held the vision for it in their heart and hands.


Walking the halls we would find other women in our age range whispering the same thing, “I don’t know were I fit in.” We wanted to help with the conference but were not sure what we could do. We had life experience that could smooth rough places for the younger women, but it was their conference.  So we began to pray for the younger women.


But, a woman of wisdom knows, a word spoken in the right moment can be as beautiful and meaningful as golden apples in a silver bowl. A word loving spoken can give strength to those around and add a moment of peaceful pause to an otherwise busy life. A woman of wisdom

For months following the conference I prayed about a place online for women over 50 to gather and find purpose and community. A place for celebrating each other as well as sitting beside each other to commiserate the painful places.


We are in the Biblical category of being the women who encourage the younger women and we would love to do that, but there were some issues blocking us. We were trying to help our own adult children into life. Some of the children were making us proud mommas, and other children were keeping us humbly on our knees.


Some women, as they moved their children out, were moving their parents in. Then there were women whose husbands had died or they were facing cancer. No one told us how to navigate this time in our lives.


When our mothers told us about becoming a woman and raging hormones, she didn’t finish the story about when the hormones slow and life seems lonely. It was probably because our mothers had not reached that age to know what to say. They had not experienced this yet, and did not have the wisdom to hand down to us.  Sometimes, by the time we were old enough to have them tell us about getting older and how to stay joyful and positive, our mothers were gone.


Talking about hot flashing, expanding waistlines, aching joints and the way intimacy changes with time seemed to be a social faux pas. Yet we need to talk about it. We need to share wisdom and encouragement.


Lying on my bed one night, waiting for the hot flash to settle down and the freeze that follows to cool me off, I decided to ask God to open a place for such discussions. A place for women to pray for each other, to rally together to find purpose, and to share the wisdom they acquired from their life’s journey.


Thus, The Consilium was born – A safe online place for women to share their stories, their joys and their sorrows, and have others come around to share the joys and encourage when times are difficult.


Each Tuesday, women of The Consilium will post gifts of their wisdom. I hope you will join us and share some of your wisdom as well.


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   Click here to join The Consilium


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Diane W. Bailey is the founder of The Consilium – an online community of wisdom and purpose for women over 45 years of age. She is a published author. Her books include String of Pearls – From Tears to Treasure, and 30 Days To A Better Stepfamily. She creates her own line of precious metals bracelets. Diane lives in the Deep South with her husband Doc. Together they have created a stepfamily, each having two stepchildren and two birth children, and share three grandchildren, one black lab named Charlie and one long haired tabby cat named Lil Girl. Diane’s passion is to encourage women to be all God has created them to be by pressing past fear and daring to live life as an adventure. Some of her life adventures include traveling to Israel, speaking, entrepreneurship and backyard farming with Doc. She loves Gumbo, fried shrimp and seeing all sunsets across water.

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