Each morning I go to the mirror to ready myself for the day.  Early morning light reveals the lines of time and I realize the bloom is fading from the rose.


Each phase of life has its insecurities and as we get older some fears change, yet most stay the same.


We want to know that we are still beautiful, still charming, and still vital in our older years.  Words of affirmation are wanted but not always available.


I have led a tribe of people into adulthood and beyond, and the house is now quite after three o’clock in the afternoon.  I’m not close to being ready for the grave according to my calculations, but purpose is needed to make this next half century productive.


Volunteering for this job, or that, is not always successful and I fear they see me as too old to identify with the younger generation. Aging is a physical occurrence and not a mental one until disease begins to set in. I feel as if I am still in my thirties most days, and on bad days – still not much older.


Even at this age, I crave approval.  I want to be apart of women who are living life to the fullest and for them to see the contribution I can make and desire my friendship as I desire theirs.


We are designed by God to crave approval.  We need to seek God and His ways and want Him to say, “well done good and faithful daughter.”  But, our need for immediate gratification entices us to take control and finds ways to satisfy our need for approval in our own strength.


“Every one of us is, even from his mother’s womb, a master craftsman of idols.” ~John Calvin


Trying to meet our own need instead of going to God with our needs creates idols in our lives.


One preacher said, “Witchcraft is simply the desire to control life instead of allowing God to be in control.”


I want God to be in control and not me.


Anything that takes your eyes off Christ and onto something else becomes an idol.


The need to be loved is as vital to our survival as air, water and food.  Approval says we are loved and valued.


We crave approval – all of us do!


We are vital to life when we walk in God’s love rather than chase after love-idols. 


This lent I think I am going to try something different.  Instead of giving up food or wine, I think I am going to practice giving up the need for the approval of people.  Instead, I am going to seek realizing that God approves me, and understand His approval is all I really need.


As a matter of fact we have been preapproved by God from the beginning of time, to live in this particular span of time, in the city and neighborhood we are in, and to be in relationship with the people who are in our lives.  We are preapproved for this life because it is here that we count and we make a difference for the Kingdom of God.




My friend Jennifer Lee has written a new book inspiring this post today.  Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval and Seeing Yourself through God’s Eyes.  It has opened my eyes to see the things that separate me from God’s love and become an idol in my life.  I know you will love this book and find it useful in your walk with Christ.



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Diane W. Bailey is the founder of The Consilium – an online community of wisdom and purpose for women over 45 years of age. She is a published author. Her books include String of Pearls – From Tears to Treasure, and 30 Days To A Better Stepfamily. She creates her own line of precious metals bracelets. Diane lives in the Deep South with her husband Doc. Together they have created a stepfamily, each having two stepchildren and two birth children, and share three grandchildren, one black lab named Charlie and one long haired tabby cat named Lil Girl. Diane’s passion is to encourage women to be all God has created them to be by pressing past fear and daring to live life as an adventure. Some of her life adventures include traveling to Israel, speaking, entrepreneurship and backyard farming with Doc. She loves Gumbo, fried shrimp and seeing all sunsets across water.

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