Each morning I go to the mirror to ready myself for the day. Early morning light reveals the lines of time and I realize the bloom is fading from the rose.
Each phase of life has its insecurities and as we get older some fears change, yet most stay the same.
We want to know that we are still beautiful, still charming, and still vital in our older years. Words of affirmation are wanted but not always available.
I have led a tribe of people into adulthood and beyond, and the house is now quite after three o’clock in the afternoon. I’m not close to being ready for the grave according to my calculations, but purpose is needed to make this next half century productive.
Volunteering for this job, or that, is not always successful and I fear they see me as too old to identify with the younger generation. Aging is a physical occurrence and not a mental one until disease begins to set in. I feel as if I am still in my thirties most days, and on bad days – still not much older.
Even at this age, I crave approval. I want to be apart of women who are living life to the fullest and for them to see the contribution I can make and desire my friendship as I desire theirs.
We are designed by God to crave approval. We need to seek God and His ways and want Him to say, “well done good and faithful daughter.” But, our need for immediate gratification entices us to take control and finds ways to satisfy our need for approval in our own strength.
“Every one of us is, even from his mother’s womb, a master craftsman of idols.” ~John Calvin
Trying to meet our own need instead of going to God with our needs creates idols in our lives.
One preacher said, “Witchcraft is simply the desire to control life instead of allowing God to be in control.”
I want God to be in control and not me.
Anything that takes your eyes off Christ and onto something else becomes an idol.
The need to be loved is as vital to our survival as air, water and food. Approval says we are loved and valued.
We crave approval – all of us do!
We are vital to life when we walk in God’s love rather than chase after love-idols.
This lent I think I am going to try something different. Instead of giving up food or wine, I think I am going to practice giving up the need for the approval of people. Instead, I am going to seek realizing that God approves me, and understand His approval is all I really need.
As a matter of fact we have been preapproved by God from the beginning of time, to live in this particular span of time, in the city and neighborhood we are in, and to be in relationship with the people who are in our lives. We are preapproved for this life because it is here that we count and we make a difference for the Kingdom of God.
My friend Jennifer Lee has written a new book inspiring this post today. Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval and Seeing Yourself through God’s Eyes. It has opened my eyes to see the things that separate me from God’s love and become an idol in my life. I know you will love this book and find it useful in your walk with Christ.
Latest posts by Diane W. Bailey (see all)
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Love this… it is hard sometimes to feel approved. But we do know that God loves us and has a plan for us. Really that should be ‘enough’.
Sharon It is enough, but the world tries to crowd out that satisfaction of being approved by God. We all need to encourage each other, and you are a beautiful encourager!
Oh, I’m in this “phase” of my life too Diane…needing to be needed still, yet having a quiet home. No lunches to make or jackets to fetch. Looking in the mirror and seeing new ‘age’ lines…not necessarily laugh lines. I’ll be joining up with Jennifer Lee as well and giving up the idols ~ the things I obsess about…the idols in my heart. And yes, it’s plural. More than one. Sigh.
I love your honesty about the plural. I have more too, this is only one of my idols.
It’s funny how we as a “mature” woman I can still find myself pleading like a toddler for someone to “Look at me! Look at me!” Yeah, I need to repeat that phrase “I’m preapproved by God” and let that be enough.
Constance, I think we have older bodies, but the little girl in us is always there. Maybe that is way we are called daughters of Christ.
Diane, I’m just growing to love you more and more. I love reading this post because I get to know you better by it. But at the same time I realize that I never actually think of your age. Ever. Whenever I see you on the networks or in person, I only think of your heart and your spirit and how much of God I see in you. You are beautiful through and through. <3 And I'm so glad we get to be friends.
I love your heart Michele-Lyn. I hear you speak from the wellspring that is in your heart, and it comes right from the Throne Room of God!
I so agree with you, that it does not matter what age we are (and I am in the “empty nest” season of life) … there is always the pull to look for approval in other places. And our hearts continually need to be pulled back to where they belong … looking to Jesus as our First Love, receiving all His approval and love. So glad I came here from the “Tell His Story” linkup … appreciated reading your thoughts. Thank you!
Cherry, I am so glad you have you here. I enjoy hearing your thoughts. (I almost wrote your name as Cheery…I think it fits you!)
Diane – Such a good post and so relate-able…..I was really struck by your bold stance on “witchcraft” and I applaud you for it. Yes, Lord, help us let go and let you in our life! We weren’t ever intended to control it in the first place. Only you can do that! Let us lay aside everything that weighs us down and run the race with perseverance, keeping our eyes on the prize! Thanks Diane. I have always felt your friendly heart. You made me feel valued and loved the very first time I met you. You are preapproved.
I’m have loved getting to know you better through the blogs and facebook, Kelly! I pray God strengthens our friendship!
Diane, I am so grateful for your words, sister. I love how we are all in this together, encouraging each other on as we choose Him rather than anything else. Bless you!