God has recently been telling me, “Give it away” and that is just what I am doing! I’ve invited some beautiful souls from my favorite Facebook community for women in the 50+ season of life, The Consilium:a Gathering of Wisdom and Grace. Enjoy the words from their hearts and, if you don’t mind, would you leave a comment to encourage them? Feel free to join us over at The Consilium – we would love to see you there!
I’d like to introduce you to Mary Gemmill from New Zealand.
As a retired nurse, OBSERVATION is something that was drilled into me. Observing Jesus, we learn to become like Him. It is way better to have Him as a role model than our parents, who may have been great, but will always have had human failings. When I was 13, my mother had the unenviable task of having her mother come to live in a retirement hospital near us, as none of her other 5 siblings would accept this responsibility. My grandmother was what we called a “Tartar.” We didn’t know exactly what it meant then! Used figuratively for “a savage, rough, irascible person” (1660’s). To catch a Tartar (get hold of what cannot be controlled) is recorded from the 1660’s; the original sense is not preserved, but is probably from some military story similar to the old battlefield joke.
Nan seemed to be a dictator, and Mum tried so hard to please her, but Nan was “she who will not be pleased.” I was 13 when this began, and did everything in my power to ease my mother’s load, but Mum was “she will never notice my efforts.”
A few years ago, my mother needed to go into such an aged care hospital, and she became the “Tartar.” Even the last thing she said to me indicated that I was a failure at pleasing her.
Now, I am the oldest of my siblings, and it will be my turn next to be the “oldie.”
What have I learnt, and how am I preparing myself and my children? Well, I had another role model; a spiritual mother. She is the one I wish to become like. Every time she saw me, her whole being lit up with joy. When she was in the aged care hospital, all of the staff loved her. That was NOT true of my mother in the same hospital at a different time! Even when Lois lost her memory near the end, she would welcome me adoringly, and said, “I cannot remember your name, but I know you are someone who loves me.” J
As I age, my focus is on the needs and well-being of others, and my prayer is that while I have breath, I will be a blessing to those around me, and not a ball and chain. As we age, our character traits seem to become set in concrete, so my goal is to lay down the ground-work for whom I want to become. I’ve noticed other Christian twins who continued to bless everyone into their 90’s. The traits exhibited by them and by Lois were the fruit of the spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self-control.
It’s worth making a quality decision as to what we want our “end-product” to look like! I am sure that we all are working toward the goal of becoming like Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith. I am learning to submit to the workings of the Holy Spirit in order that He will “finish” me off as well.
This means giving up my right to hold onto the wrongs of others. It means letting God deal with those who wrong me and letting Him have His way in me! Bringing my mind into captivity to Christ Jesus is becoming easier with practice!! Because we all know that the battlefield is in the mind.
Let’s cheer each other on as we come up the home straits on our run with perseverance…..let us valiantly hold on to what is good…..and always look to Jesus as our example of whom to emulate. “Well done, good and faithful servant” are the words we long to hear when our time on earth is done.
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Mary is the oldest of 3 siblings, and mother to 3 biological kids and 39 other teens. Her life has been fraught with difficult relationships with her mother, then husband, then daughter… but by allowing God to help her to turn these trials into stepping-stones, has become a very happy ESL teacher in a High School where God continues to open doors for her to speak into the lives of young people from around the world. Her greatest JOY is to be doing what God designed her to do, and in being about His business at work, at home encouraging and interceding for people online and locally, and in her family, continuing to support adult children in prayer and with a listening ear.
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Mary, what a gentle way to write about the “Tartar” personality. My mom, too, was a difficult one to please.
And it has caused me to reflect about similar end results. When we focus on Jesus, the fruit of the Spirit, and God’s grace and forgiveness, He will help us be his “image bearers.”
Thanks for sharing! I look forward to hearing more from you.
Sheila…I think there are many of our generation who share similar experiences….we are told Queen Victoria dictated that children would get swollen heads if they were complimented so only negative feedback became the norm…I am so glad we can be a part of changing the ways things are done and get back to God’s way~!
Mary, you are one of my first online friends and you have been the most consistent and loving encourager one could ever hope to meet. You have a word for the weary and I sense, even across the miles, through all this technology, the love of Jesus. My life has been blessed and enriched by the honor of your friendship and I know you are someone who loves me too (although I can remember your name!) I bless you in these best years to come and I pray you will continue to live in the overflow with that fountain of living water flowing out of you touching the hearts and lives of all you meet. I pray every need you have will be met before you are even aware there is a need and that the word of the Lord will continue to unfold in your heart and draw you even closer to Him! I love you and look forward to dining with you at the marriage supper of the Lamb should we not meet face to face here.
It’s no wonder I LOVE YOU, Jeannie.
I thank God for the ministry of your writing…it always encourages, and stirs me to RISE UP to be all that God intended.
You are a Champion encourager, and I am honoured to know you a little, and look forward to hugging you close when we meet face to face <3
Mary – this past summer, the last family member of my Mom’s generation died. The reality of “our stepping” up to be the oldest generation comes with a sense of awe. We are busy living our lives and never quite think of this reality coming – for those of us blessed with the years to reach this mark.
The phrase that you used that caught my attention in your message is, “. . on our run with perseverance”. Truly – that quality is a bedrock for our journey with the Lord and, as you have said so well, we all want to finish well.
Glad to have you as my running companion Lynn..I am loving getting to know you,
Thank you for your sweet words. <3
what a beautiful post full of wisdom! We can choose the way we want to finish life by the choices we make now.
Choosing to run with perseverance in our desire to become like Jesus isn’t easy, is it?
We need each other, cheering us on, and helping us up when we fall.
Mary, this is such a grace-filled post! You are beautiful. Love you. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3
The fact that you are well enough to read and comment fills me with joy today Shelly~!
LOVE having you as a beloved running mate…with you setting the pace, of course.
Love you. HUGS.
The fact that you are well enough to read and comment fills me with joy today Shelly~!
LOVE having you as a beloved running mate…with you setting the pace, of course.
Love you. HUGS.
You have been a spiritual mid-wife to hope for me Mary, I can only hope to be the generous soul you are to so many. There will be a crown full of jewels waiting for you. So glad to see you here at Diane’s place. What a treat!
It’s been a JOY to be on your team of midwives Shelly!!
I am honoured to be on Diane’s blog today as she is such a gifted writer and photographer.
Reflection of life will be our best tool. I am so glad we have Jesus beside us in that image. You wow Him. Love you
Mary,
Great article, wonderful words of wisdom!
Mary, I love you. I know this post was probably hard and freeing for you to express on line. It touches deep places and I am so proud of you!!!!
Rhonda…you know more than most…and it has been freeing to be able to write about God redeeming my life by blessing me with special alternative “mothers” who could demonstrate to me God’s ways 😉
So good, Mary! Mercy, I’ve been around my share of “tartars” and that’s one thing I’m keeping in mind as I age. I want to be a sweet old lady and not a grumpy old grouch!
Hugs to you. Thanks for sharing a part of your story!
Oh what a precious lady! One who loves not just with words, but in spirit and in truth…one who exemplifies the very essence of Jesus love and grace for others!
Thank you Mary! Timely words, once again, filled with such bountiful doses of wisdom and insight! Thank you!
Lots of love,
Jen