Have you ever had a time in your life that did not work out as you had planned?  The first response to God might be, “But Why, God?”.

Several years ago we were planning a wedding for my daughter.  About four days before the wedding I was packing the car to go to the town where the wedding was to be held when I received a phone call from my daughter.  She was wailing to the point I could hardly understand her.  Finally, after a few minutes, I understood, “Michael is dead”.

Michael, my daughter’s cousin, and best friend, who was one of the groomsmen, had been killed in a work related accident.

Four days later,on the same day, in the same town, at the same church, at the same time, with the same group of well-wishers, instead of a wedding, we buried Michael.

Everything in me wanted to cry out to God, “WHY!”.  Why Michael, why this day, why now, why, why why?

Some time has passed and I have heard that still quiet voice begin to minister to my wounded heart.  One thing I have learned, is that His ways are higher than ours.  No matter how much He explains, Why, my mind will never fully understand His explanation, on this side of heaven.

We love and serve an Infinite God, from a Finite position.  From where we stand we cannot see all that He sees.  Therefore His explanation does not make to sense to us.

Yet He does want us to know that He is so near to us when our hearts are breaking.  In this time I did find some questions that He can answer.

1) Where Are You God when all this is going on?
Matthew 28:20 I am with you always, even to the end.

2)How should I respond to this?

James 3:13 & 17 Who among you is wise and understanding?  Let him show by his good behavior his deed in the gentelness of wisdom.  But wisdom from above is first prue, peaceable, gentle, resonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering without hypocrisy.

3)What do you want me to see or learn in this time?

Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you shall find rest for your souls.

After the loss of Micheal, my daughter waited for two months then quietly, she and her groom, went had a ten minute exchange of vows.

It has taken me a couple of years to feel like I have heard God in this sorrow.  I always knew He was there, but it took time to hear Him speak.  There are still questions that I have that will have to wait until I get to heaven…Or maybe by the time I see Him and Michael face to face, the Why questions will not matter any more.

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Diane W. Bailey is the founder of The Consilium – an online community of wisdom and purpose for women over 45 years of age. She is a published author. Her books include String of Pearls – From Tears to Treasure, and 30 Days To A Better Stepfamily. She creates her own line of precious metals bracelets. Diane lives in the Deep South with her husband Doc. Together they have created a stepfamily, each having two stepchildren and two birth children, and share three grandchildren, one black lab named Charlie and one long haired tabby cat named Lil Girl. Diane’s passion is to encourage women to be all God has created them to be by pressing past fear and daring to live life as an adventure. Some of her life adventures include traveling to Israel, speaking, entrepreneurship and backyard farming with Doc. She loves Gumbo, fried shrimp and seeing all sunsets across water.

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