She wears the fall of life as if it came with no burdens at all, but if you look closely, you can see places where she has weathered many hard winters.
Yesterday, her daughter and granddaughter boarded a plane that would take them so far away. If she drove night and day for a week she would not be able to reach them.
This morning, the sun melts the night sky with azure and melon, tears and passion, as the man of her youth packs his bags to return to work. Good jobs require sacrifice, and so do good marriages.
If only her hair, black as ravens, would spread out like wings and carry her to where he lays his head. She would go to him each night and hold him as they slept warm and well loved. As it is, she drives to work knowing she will come home to an empty house. Each night her marriage works to take its next breath, laboring under the stress physical distance can cause. The cell phone is what keeps her heart connected to the man who wins her love again with a simple, “hello.”
Perhaps they will soon awake beneath the same roof and drink coffee in matching mugs. Until then, she waits with hope and prays in faith.
When we are young we have a dream of where the path of marriage will take us. We envision birthing beautiful children, who grow tall and strong – they will have no problems in life because they navigate well the journey ahead. After a good amount of time, they will marry someone whom we will love as if our blood runs through their veins, and give us grandchildren to spoil.
We see ourselves together, with hair silvery white as new fallen snow, all our natural teeth, traveling Europe in good health, with a love life that lasts to our dying breath.
The journey of marriage seems to take more than a lifetime to arrive at the place we dreamed we would be. Many times, there are detours taking us through routes we never wanted to know existed.
Though many of our destinations will be realized, not all of them are achieved. Children have their own ideas about life, and our marriages do not always feel and grow as one, sicknesses and elderly parents can seem to be roadblocks to the happy life we seek.
Marriage is complicated, and it is more about the journey than it is about the arrival at a particular time or place. No one arrives at their 50th wedding anniversary unscathed. The journey of marriage is best traveled on a seat cushioned by patience and prayer.
Marriage is more about the Journey than the Destination.
It is easy to believe the best part of life can only be viewed from the rear-view mirror. It may seem our younger years held all the joy.
God has created this marriage journey, and the rough roads with its potholes are preparing us to help those coming behind us to navigate a similar path. As we navigate these rough roads together, we find there is a oneness that comes from the struggle.
This oneness manifests as we put aside the wrongs done and things left undone. We cling to the good in the one we love, and we choose love as the healing balm for disappointments.
And, the woman with the raven color hair, says, “Just when I think God has done all the important, significant things with our life, I realize that God’s timing is not connected to mine. What He has planned for us is the best life, the best journey, and the best adventure we can image. He has been diligently maturing us, using this life, to recognize the beauty of this journey with each other and with Him.”
The phone rings, and her heart flutters.
Latest posts by Diane W. Bailey (see all)
- What God Can Do with A Shattered Heart - September 5, 2022
- When It Is Time to Bring Your Ship Ashore - January 2, 2018
- Art Of Hospitality – How to Love Others As Ourselves - November 27, 2017
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I love this…in more ways than I can describe. I love this line “best traveled on a seat cushioned by patience and prayer.” There is so much wisdom in that line my friend.
Diane, such an encouraging post, because you portray the long view of marriage–a view too many abandon far too soon. Mike and I went through a very difficult patch at around year five of our marriage. And I must attribute its lasting to his kindness, love, forgiveness, and grace. Now forty years since the time we said “I do,” we are so grateful that God sustained us and that He did give us that long view as well. We’ve had such a good and blessed marriage. I will tell you that yesterday we had an argument, and I shed tears, and this time it was he who apologized for pain caused. This has been so rare, that it pulled us both up short. But how quickly we were able to mend the riff….how very quickly. How grateful I am to the Lord that the stubborn pride of youth has been put away . . . many years ago. “He has been diligently maturing us, using this life, to recognize the beauty of this journey with each other and with Him.” Your statement rings true. And that is an advantage of sustaining many years of marriage and taking the long view with God. He matures us and we recognize the beauty that is marriage and would do anything to keep journeying together with God beside us. I think Sheridan was shocked to see us argue, because it rarely happens. But oh, my. The making up, the coming together, the recognition of the beauty in our union is worth the journey, even the hard parts. Love this, dear Diane!
Thank you for affirming the truth that hearts over 45 still remember how to flutter, and that love and commitment can flourish even against the context of life’s hard realities. I’m living in the truth of Psalm 42, and preaching it to myself this morning: Put your hope in God, soul! This has been a late-night-early-alarm kind of day, and your words are a wake up call to put my eyes on the given — chiefly, my good and patient husband who is also tired today. He is God’s gift to me. Thanks for pointing me there.
beautifully written my friend.
Diane, this is so beautiful!
Diane…such beautiful words chosen to share this marriage journey. Just love this so much!
Thank you Kelly. God is so good!
Beautiful, Diane. I really felt for this woman. You made me care deeply for her.
I am so glad your second marriage works so well.
I’m waiting for my bridegroom,
The lover of my soul, and
The marriage Feast of the Bride and the Lamb.
And what a magnificent Bridegroom he is, Mary! I look forward to dancing with you there and hopefully we will meet in this life, face to face.
Love this post. My husband and I have been married for 36 years (37 years this March) and we grow more in love every day. Yes, we don’t always agree on things in life, but, our foundation is in God and His love is our strength. 🙂 And, yes, my heart goes flutter every time I hear the phone and know it is my husband calling.
Isn’t it wonderful to still flutter, Melissa? Married life is difficult but the rewards are worth the work.
Mary thank you for your encouragement and kind words. You are a treasure in my life!