She wears the fall of life as if it came with no burdens at all, but if you look closely, you can see places where she has weathered many hard winters.

Yesterday, her daughter and granddaughter boarded a plane that would take them so far away. If she drove night and day for a week she would not be able to reach them.

This morning, the sun melts the night sky with azure and melon, tears and passion, as the man of her youth packs his bags to return to work. Good jobs require sacrifice, and so do good marriages.

If only her hair, black as ravens, would spread out like wings and carry her to where he lays his head. She would go to him each night and hold him as they slept warm and well loved. As it is, she drives to work knowing she will come home to an empty house. Each night her marriage works to take its next breath, laboring under the stress physical distance can cause. The cell phone is what keeps her heart connected to the man who wins her love again with a simple, “hello.”

Perhaps they will soon awake beneath the same roof and drink coffee in matching mugs. Until then, she waits with hope and prays in faith.

When we are young we have a dream of where the path of marriage will take us. We envision birthing beautiful children, who grow tall and strong – they will have no problems in life because they navigate well the journey ahead. After a good amount of time, they will marry someone whom we will love as if our blood runs through their veins, and give us grandchildren to spoil.

We see ourselves together, with hair silvery white as new fallen snow, all our natural teeth, traveling Europe in good health, with a love life that lasts to our dying breath.


The journey of marriage seems to take more than a lifetime to arrive at the place we dreamed we would be. Many times, there are detours taking us through routes we never wanted to know existed.

Though many of our destinations will be realized, not all of them are achieved. Children have their own ideas about life, and our marriages do not always feel and grow as one, sicknesses and elderly parents can seem to be roadblocks to the happy life we seek.

Marriage is complicated, and it is more about the journey than it is about the arrival at a particular time or place. No one arrives at their 50th wedding anniversary unscathed. The journey of marriage is best traveled on a seat cushioned by patience and prayer.

Marriage is about the Journey

Marriage is more about the Journey than the Destination.

It is easy to believe the best part of life can only be viewed from the rear-view mirror. It may seem our younger years held all the joy.

God has created this marriage journey, and the rough roads with its potholes are preparing us to help those coming behind us to navigate a similar path. As we navigate these rough roads together, we find there is a oneness that comes from the struggle.

This oneness manifests as we put aside the wrongs done and things left undone. We cling to the good in the one we love, and we choose love as the healing balm for disappointments.

And, the woman with the raven color hair, says, “Just when I think God has done all the important, significant things with our life, I realize that God’s timing is not connected to mine. What He has planned for us is the best life, the best journey, and the best adventure we can image. He has been diligently maturing us, using this life, to recognize the beauty of this journey with each other and with Him.”

The phone rings, and her heart flutters.

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Diane W. Bailey is the founder of The Consilium – an online community of wisdom and purpose for women over 45 years of age. She is a published author. Her books include String of Pearls – From Tears to Treasure, and 30 Days To A Better Stepfamily. She creates her own line of precious metals bracelets. Diane lives in the Deep South with her husband Doc. Together they have created a stepfamily, each having two stepchildren and two birth children, and share three grandchildren, one black lab named Charlie and one long haired tabby cat named Lil Girl. Diane’s passion is to encourage women to be all God has created them to be by pressing past fear and daring to live life as an adventure. Some of her life adventures include traveling to Israel, speaking, entrepreneurship and backyard farming with Doc. She loves Gumbo, fried shrimp and seeing all sunsets across water.

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