“I’m not doing well”, was her answer to my greeting.

“We have been so excited to come and now – I am sick, and don’t have a doctor, and I don’t know anyone to ask about a recommendation.  I want to come home, it feels like I’m living on the dark side of the MOON!”

The truth is, my friend was home, but it was now on what seemed like foreign soil.  She had all of her earthly treasures, her husband and children, a beautiful home but she was without friends in this new town.

Friendships can take time.  If you are like me, you might be cautious about making friends because of past hurts, insecurities, or because you are just a quiet person until you get to know someone.

But until we have a community, it really doesn’t feel like home, does it?

When we have children attending school functions, going to gymnastic practice or sitting as their team practices can expose us to potential friendships.

But what if you are an empty nester?  The challenge to find friends may seem more difficult.

I’m writing today with (In)Courage, and the question we are exploring is, “How do we build local community­ – some practical ideas…”

Be confidant in who you are.  “Fake it until you make it! “, is what we would say in school.  Fake a little confidence, remembering that God created you and you are fabulous to Him!

I have noticed that if I will smile gently, stand up straight not rolling my shoulders in self-consciousness, people are more willing to engage with me in conversation.  Gentle confidence is attractive!  If you are not comfortable with who you are then others will pick up on it.

 “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!” Hebrews 10:35


Try Swimming in New Ponds (Even if you once said, “I’ll never”) “Oh, put on your big girl patties on and try!”, one friend told me when I was timid of meeting new friends.

Sometimes God will close many doors trying to get you to open the one He has prepared for you.  Sometimes it is a door that we thought we would never go through on purpose – with people with whom we thought we did not have much in common.  He will not send you to people that you cannot identify with.   He loves community and wants us to be in community with Him and others. So try a different area of people – a new committee, or new Bible Study, or volunteer at a school.

“I am not sending you to a foreign people whose language you cannot understand.” Ezekiel 3:5

Finally, but most importantly — Pray, Even when you feel like you are on the dark side of the moon, He hears and has a beautiful plan for you!

You Rock, my Friend!

Linking today with (In)courage

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Diane W. Bailey is the founder of The Consilium – an online community of wisdom and purpose for women over 45 years of age. She is a published author. Her books include String of Pearls – From Tears to Treasure, and 30 Days To A Better Stepfamily. She creates her own line of precious metals bracelets. Diane lives in the Deep South with her husband Doc. Together they have created a stepfamily, each having two stepchildren and two birth children, and share three grandchildren, one black lab named Charlie and one long haired tabby cat named Lil Girl. Diane’s passion is to encourage women to be all God has created them to be by pressing past fear and daring to live life as an adventure. Some of her life adventures include traveling to Israel, speaking, entrepreneurship and backyard farming with Doc. She loves Gumbo, fried shrimp and seeing all sunsets across water.

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