“I’m not doing well”, was her answer to my greeting.
“We have been so excited to come and now – I am sick, and don’t have a doctor, and I don’t know anyone to ask about a recommendation. I want to come home, it feels like I’m living on the dark side of the MOON!”
The truth is, my friend was home, but it was now on what seemed like foreign soil. She had all of her earthly treasures, her husband and children, a beautiful home but she was without friends in this new town.
Friendships can take time. If you are like me, you might be cautious about making friends because of past hurts, insecurities, or because you are just a quiet person until you get to know someone.
But until we have a community, it really doesn’t feel like home, does it?
When we have children attending school functions, going to gymnastic practice or sitting as their team practices can expose us to potential friendships.
But what if you are an empty nester? The challenge to find friends may seem more difficult.
I’m writing today with (In)Courage, and the question we are exploring is, “How do we build local community – some practical ideas…”
Be confidant in who you are. “Fake it until you make it! “, is what we would say in school. Fake a little confidence, remembering that God created you and you are fabulous to Him!
I have noticed that if I will smile gently, stand up straight not rolling my shoulders in self-consciousness, people are more willing to engage with me in conversation. Gentle confidence is attractive! If you are not comfortable with who you are then others will pick up on it.
“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!” Hebrews 10:35
Try Swimming in New Ponds (Even if you once said, “I’ll never”) “Oh, put on your big girl patties on and try!”, one friend told me when I was timid of meeting new friends.
Sometimes God will close many doors trying to get you to open the one He has prepared for you. Sometimes it is a door that we thought we would never go through on purpose – with people with whom we thought we did not have much in common. He will not send you to people that you cannot identify with. He loves community and wants us to be in community with Him and others. So try a different area of people – a new committee, or new Bible Study, or volunteer at a school.
“I am not sending you to a foreign people whose language you cannot understand.” Ezekiel 3:5
Finally, but most importantly — Pray, Even when you feel like you are on the dark side of the moon, He hears and has a beautiful plan for you!
You Rock, my Friend!
Linking today with (In)courage
Latest posts by Diane W. Bailey (see all)
- What God Can Do with A Shattered Heart - September 5, 2022
- When It Is Time to Bring Your Ship Ashore - January 2, 2018
- Art Of Hospitality – How to Love Others As Ourselves - November 27, 2017
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Diane I think “swimming in new ponds” is a great idea! The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Jumping into the blogging community was a “new pond” for me and I’m totally amazed at how much bigger my “pond” has grown! 🙂
I love this “insanity” quote! Next Month will be one year of blogging for me! Sound like we may have began close to the same tine. Mindy, I’m so glad we are getting to know each other!
Me too Diane! But you are a “pro” at the blogging thing. I’ve only been doing it for about five months now.
Mindy, I’m sure you are lie me in that this has become you passion. I just left your blog with a comment, but to repeat, I am so looking forward to meeting you at Allume!
Oh man, I wish I could go to Allume!! Y’all have a great time and take LOTS of pics!!
btw – great post, Di. Swimming in new ponds — love it!
Thank you Susan! I know I wish you were going to be there as well. I will miss you!
Thank you! This was so practical and helpful. Some of us are horrendously socially awkward so we hide behind a blog 🙂
I agree Kalya, it is easier at times to have a blog replace face to face friends. I know I do it as well. Please come by again, I love having you here! ~Di